| Ending Note | |
| Newport’s fantastic space port. |
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You have no idea how lucky you are. Anyone can tell you what went on in Newport Beach for the last 100 years. Woo woo. But what about Newport Beach 100 years from now? What will it look like? How will we live? Which Bush will be president? Well this is your lucky day, sailor. There’s no modest way to say this, but I am clairvoyant. I see things. I hear things. When I’m really on, I see things and I hear things. It’s uncanny I tell you. Pay attention. This will go fast.
Some of you are worried that this place is going to look like a scene from “Blade Runner” in 100 years. That’s not true. There won’t be any of those giant neon screens. By the year 2105, the cost of housing in Newport Beach will finally be under control. Single-family homes will cost about $430,000, but they will be a little cramped -- 400 square feet for a new home, 150 to 200 square feet for a starter. At what used to be Fashion Island, the Grand Newport Towers are even more affordable, at 140 and 210 stories tall, with incredible views from those units that have a window. The opening of the Crystal Cove Space Port, scheduled for 2100, will be delayed while the state tries to figure out what to do with the cottages. Not only will Fashion Island be gone, so will all stores and restaurants. It’s virtual shopping, virtual payments, virtual everything, except that computers and the Internet no longer exist. You’ll have a 2 million gigabyte microscopic CPU planted under your scalp with a holographic display projected on your retina. All you’ll have to do is think the word “compute,” and the screen will tell you why Windows 2100 has failed. Traffic? There is no traffic. Personal vehicles were phased out in 2045, when gas reached $11 an ounce and hybrid vehicles were found to be releasing deadly toxins. The advances in healthcare will be stunning. In 2105, average life expectancy is 127 years for women, 122 years for men, unless they’re married men, in which case it’s 70 years. Most of the longevity gains will happen after 2065, when a 30-year study shows that good cholesterol can be quadrupled and bad cholesterol eliminated completely by eating one 14” pizza a day. In 2085, Hoag Hospital and a young couple from Dover Shores will make headlines around the globe when a baby that was conceived naturally is born. Designer clones will be the must-have accessory and most people will have more than one. Your clone will have your voice and personality but you’ll be able to choose from a variety of ages, body types and hair color. All you have to do is think the word “clone,” and the screen will tell you why Windows 2100 has failed. In 2101, the number of Starbucks in Newport Beach will match the year and…wait. I think…yes, I’m losing it. It’s fading, fading away. It’s gone. That’s it then - Newport Beach in 2105, give or take a hundred years. I gotta go. Peter Buffa, Futurist & former mayor of Costa Mesa |
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